A Therapist’s Review of "My Grandmother’s Hands" and What It Teaches Us About Trauma

Few books in the trauma and mental health space challenge readers quite like My

Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem. Part trauma education, part somatic practice guide, and part social commentary, the book explores how trauma related to racism and systemic oppression becomes embedded in the human body.

For therapists, counselors, and anyone interested in mental health, this book offers an important shift in perspective. Instead of viewing trauma purely as a psychological experience, Menakem invites us to consider how trauma lives in our nervous systems, muscles, and reflexes. My Grandmother’s Hands argues that healing requires more than insight. It requires working directly with the body.

Below is a blog style reflection on the book along with practical insights for therapy and mental health work.

A Book That Starts in the Body, Not the Mind

Many conversations about racism and trauma focus on beliefs, attitudes, and systems. While those factors matter, Menakem takes a different approach.

He argues that trauma is stored in the body. The nervous system reacts to perceived threats through automatic survival responses such as fight, flight, or freeze. These responses happen faster than conscious thought, which means trauma responses are often physical before they are cognitive.

This core idea is the foundation of the book. According to Menakem, centuries of racialized violence and oppression have created patterns of trauma responses that are passed down through generations. These patterns become embedded in the body through chronic stress, fear, and survival adaptations.

For therapists, this perspective reinforces something many clinicians already observe in practice. Clients do not just think their trauma. They carry it.

The Concept of Racialized Trauma

One of the most powerful ideas in My Grandmother’s Hands is the concept of racialized trauma.

Menakem describes how trauma related to racism does not only affect individuals who directly experience discrimination. Instead, trauma becomes woven into entire communities and social systems over generations. This creates what he calls “white-body supremacy,” a system that harms people of all backgrounds in different ways.

The book discusses three groups specifically:

• Black bodies, which carry historical and ongoing trauma from slavery and systemic racism

• White bodies, which carry inherited trauma related to dominance, fear, and historical violence

• Police bodies, which often carry occupational trauma and chronic stress

Each group experiences trauma differently, but the underlying principle remains the same: Trauma is not just psychological. It is embodied.

Body Practices Instead of Just Insight

One of the most distinctive features of the book is the inclusion of somatic exercises.

Throughout the chapters, Menakem invites readers to slow down and notice sensations in their bodies. He introduces simple practices such as breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and body awareness activities designed to calm the nervous system.

The goal of these exercises is to help readers shift from automatic trauma responses toward

greater regulation and awareness.

Menakem describes two types of pain that often arise during healing:

• Dirty pain: Avoidance, blame, denial, and reactive behavior

• Clean pain: The discomfort that comes from directly facing difficult emotions and experiences

According to the book, healing requires moving through clean pain rather than avoiding it. This concept resonates strongly with therapeutic work. Growth often requires sitting with discomfort long enough for meaningful change to occur.

What Therapists Can Learn From This Book

From a clinical perspective, My Grandmother’s Hands offers several valuable lessons.

1. Trauma Is Often Physiological

Clients frequently experience trauma symptoms physically. They may report:

• tightness in the chest

• chronic muscle tension

• stomach distress

• hypervigilance or exaggerated startle responses

These experiences are not simply emotional reactions. They are nervous system responses. Menakem’s work reinforces the importance of integrating somatic awareness into therapy. Modalities such as somatic experiencing, EMDR, and body based mindfulness all reflect this principle.

2. Insight Alone Is Not Enough

Many therapy models emphasize cognitive understanding. While insight is helpful, it does not always resolve trauma responses.

Someone may understand why they react strongly in certain situations, yet their body still reacts automatically.

This is why trauma informed therapy often incorporates regulation skills such as:

• grounding techniques

• breathing exercises

• sensory awareness

• nervous system stabilization

Menakem’s body practices align closely with these therapeutic approaches.

3. Intergenerational Trauma Is Real

Another important theme in the book is the transmission of trauma across generations. Research in psychology and epigenetics suggests that chronic stress and traumatic experiences can influence how future generations experience stress responses. These patterns can be reinforced through both biology and environment. Menakem emphasizes that communities may carry unresolved trauma for generations. Healing therefore requires both personal and collective work. For therapists, this idea encourages a broader lens. A client’s struggles may not exist in isolation from historical, cultural, or systemic influences.

Why This Book Matters in Mental Health Conversations

What makes My Grandmother’s Hands especially impactful is its integration of trauma theory, social context, and body based healing.

The book does not offer a simple solution to racism or trauma. Instead, it encourages readers to develop greater capacity for regulation, curiosity, and compassion. Healing begins at the level of the nervous system and expands outward into relationships and communities. This perspective challenges mental health professionals to think beyond traditional frameworks.

Trauma is not only a clinical issue. It is also relational, cultural, and embodied.

A Few Reflections and Considerations

Like many influential books, this one has sparked both praise and debate. Some readers appreciate the book’s somatic focus and practical exercises, while others question certain historical interpretations or frameworks. These conversations reflect the complexity of addressing trauma at both personal and societal levels.

What remains valuable, however, is the book’s central insight.

Healing requires more than intellectual understanding. It requires learning how to settle and regulate the body.

Final Thoughts

For therapists, counselors, and anyone interested in trauma informed care, My Grandmother’s Hands offers an important reminder.

Trauma lives in the nervous system.

Healing begins in the body.

By encouraging readers to slow down, notice physical sensations, and develop regulation skills, the book offers practical tools that complement many modern trauma therapies. It is not a light read. At times it can be challenging and confronting. Yet for many mental health professionals, it opens new ways of understanding how trauma moves through individuals, families, and communities. And perhaps most importantly, it reminds us that healing is possible when we learn to listen to the wisdom stored in our bodies.